Tri Training Recommitment Update- Bubble Blower No More.

This week I re-dedicated myself to training for my upcoming triathlon in hopes of sticking with it. Overall the week has been pretty good. My mom is 64 and I convinced her to do this triathlon because I thought it would be fun for us to do the training and the race together. So far it has been far from fun. She fell off her bike in July and injured herself pretty badly. After taking 3 painful weeks off she got back on the bike but her confidence was shot along with her cardiovascular endurance. Without lung strength swimming also became a chore. Last Sunday while I was being high fived for my top 3 finish in a time trial, my mother sat on the bench crying into a towel. She couldn't relax in the water and didn't finish half the race. It is an odd reversal to comfort your mother but I tried. She is exceptionally hard on herself (which explains where I get it) and my cheers of "You can do it!" "We have time" and "You are doing great" did not do much to help her.

We intentionally took Monday off and did a tri group bike ride on Tuesday. We had some tire issues so ended up in a small set all our own which was fine with me. My mom did well considering two months ago she could hardly get on the bike. Tuesday she rode for 4 miles, most of which on a busy 4 lane Rea Road at rush hour. We had some assholes honk at us which shook her a bit, but other than that it was a good ride, even though it was not the 15 mile ride the rest of the tri group did. She echoed Sunday's disappointment with herself and her level of fitness. As she berated herself I tried again to comfort her, reminding her to compare her performance with her performance in the beginning, not against other athletes who have done multiple triathlons. She has advanced incredibly from that first ride where she stayed in the parking lot, too scared to go on a road.

I decided that to help with our training we should join the Y. I hate the Y, but needed a reliable pool and the Y has one. Doesn't matter what the weather is, the Y pool is available and they always have at least 2 lap lanes open. So my mom and I met at 6 this morning. I walked into the pool and was instantly calmed. I have had a feeling that I was growing to really enjoy swimming. I love the look of a pool before anyone gets in it. This morning as I walked in there were about 20 people swimming for the Masters Swim program (non-team coaching program). It was completely quiet except for the gentle splashing of the people swimming. I can't really explain why this made me happy, but I felt content. There was an empty lane so I got in and began to do my laps. During my last lesson on Sunday one of the mentors commented that I look completely comfortable in the water. I was flattered and surprised. But the truth is, I am comfortable. I feel weightless and graceful and thin and fit and strong. My mom and I had a lane to ourselves and we had a good swim. We didn't go far, but we talked about her breathing, adapting to a slower count so she wouldn't be out of breath and also came up with a plan to build up her cardiovascular strength. I worked on being comfortable rolling to both sides and teaching myself how to flip, to no success.

I drove to work in a great mood and being me, over analyzed this. I realized quite simply that I was proud of myself. When I signed up for the Tri in April, I knew how to get through the water and I didn't sink. I started taking lessons with my tri group as a bubble blower and learned how to breathe, blow bubbles and swim competitively. I learned breathing on only my right, and just last week picked up breathing on a 3 count to both sides. In April I never would have gotten in a lap pool with other people and this morning I knew the etiquette and felt like I belonged there. I have never hated swimming, but in April I would have said it was a means to an end; something I did while diving, or to cool off at the beach. I certainly did not see the appeal of swimming back and forth in one lane for an hour. So I decided to take my own advice and compare myself to the only person worth comparing; myself. In the last 4 months I have come incredibly far swimming and am starting to really love it. The past few bikes rides have been leisurely rides that haven't really challenged my lungs or my legs. But I feel 250% more comfortable riding my bike, getting ready and doing things like changing a flat or fixing my chain. I am going running tonight and while before I really dreaded the running portion of it, I am actually excited about tonight's run. My parents and husband are joining me and then we are all going to dinner afterwards.

People have asked me several times why I decided to do a triathlon and my answer has always been "because I am stupid.". This morning I realized the real reason: it makes me happy. I love learning and growing and being active appeals to me. It gives me balance and keeps me sane. I may not finish in the top half of this race and if so I am sure I am going to be disappointed that day. Overall though I think this is one of the best things I have ever done for myself. Every athlete has bad weeks or bad training sessions. I know my mom and I will work through this together and be stronger for it. I feel like this is what I am supposed to do with my body and am enjoying learning new things about myself. I may have recommitted to training but I think I really need to recommit to me, the new athletic, swimmer me; Bubble Blower no more.