For The Love of Fireflies

There is a new song out that I love right now by a band called Owl City. The song is Fireflies and my favorite lines are:

I get a thousand hugs
From ten thousand lightning bugs
As they try to teach me how to dance
A foxtrot above my head
A sockhop beneath my bed

The melody is child-like and light and it stirs in me a couple of memories, both of which soothe my soul. When I was younger we would spend a lot of our summers at my grandparents' house in Pennsylvania. Catching fireflies was a highlight and I remember the magic of just laying on the grass and watching the light, then putting them in a mason jar and trying to capture some of the magic for myself. Recently I was with Miller, my 2 1/2 year old surrogate nephew, when he saw his first firefly. We turned all the outside lights off and sat on the porch and watched and then chased after them. It was fun for me to pass along such a childhood staple onto him.

The second memory is my wedding day. I was not nervous at all and the fact that it was raining a bit for my outdoor wedding didn't phase me a bit. During our vows, a huge rainbow came out, stopping the ceremony for a moment as everyone gasped and pointed out the spectacular sight. I remember looking up at the rainbow, then at my very soon to be husband and then I looked out at the crowd. We only had 27 people there, all our closest friends and relatives. Almost everyone was looking up at the rainbow and each of them had a peaceful and serene look on their faces. I remember at that moment feeling like I was wrapped up in the world's biggest hug of love, from everyone that mattered in my life. I was completely at peace and content and truly happy in that moment.

It has been a long time since I layed in my grandparents' yard and 8 years since our wedding. My grandmother is now suffering from Alzheimer's and while does a great job of faking it, cannot remember me or sometimes my mom. My grandfather in a cruel trick of fate, is physically very ill, but mentally sharp, funny and sweet. A few months ago the house they had lived in for 60 years caught on fire. It was an old stone house that the entire family made so the structure is good and they are working on rebuilding the house. Until then they are living in an extended living facility. They are both in their mid-late 90s and this is proving to be very stressful for them.

When I got married I carried the same bible that my grandmother carried in her wedding, adorned in orchids like she did. It was my hope that my marriage might last as long and be as strong as theirs. In a month they will celebrate their 70th wedding anniversary. When I think of my grandparents I think of their humor and their love. I wish my grandmother was still lucid so I could talk to her about her life and her marriage. I am sure they experienced the ups and downs of normal marriages and the fact that they are still together is a testament to love, friendship and loyalty.

I had a great day yesterday. Nothing major happened; on all accounts it was a normal day. Got up, worked out, went to work, worked out again and went to dinner. But inside of that were a few highlights. I talked to my brother and the rest of my family joined me for a run in the afternoon. Then the four of us went to dinner where we sat and laughed and talked for a few hours. I got home and saw a post from my friend Shelia (the one who motivated me to start writing again). She had read my blog and it inspired her. We exchanged some emails and I realized that she is a true friend; supportive, honest, caring and giving. I hung out with my husband, cat and bird a bit longer and then we went to bed. We keep it cold in our house so as we snuggled up together, I reflected on my day. I was exhausted; it was late and I was happy. I am loved and I love. I have people in my life that challenge me, that support me, laugh with me and cry with me. I have a husband who is my best friend and our marriage is stronger for the challenges it has faced. I think we have a good shot at making 70 years.

Every day has up and downs and every one faces some degree of challenge but to get through life you need to see the magic in your day too; dinner with family, an encouraging word from a friend, a warm embrace from a spouse, even a lick on the nose from a loving pet. I wish I could lay on the lawn at my grandparents' house and watch the fireflies with the innocence of childhood and maybe someday soon I will. Until then I will just hear the Fireflies song and think of my grandparents, my family and friends, their love for me and mine for them. Those are my thousand hugs from ten thousand lightning bugs. Now I just need to find a mason jar big enough for all of them.