Thursday, November 26, 2009


This is my favorite holiday (unless you consider my birthday a holiday, as I do). I won't go on my rant about how I feel about Christmas, just know that I would choose Thanksgiving over Christmas any day. Thanksgiving seems pure to me. No obligatory gift giving. No stress over giving the perfect present. Thanksgiving is simply a day to gather with people you love and have dinner.

Dinner in my family has always been loud and long, with everyone talking, sharing and laughing. We didn't always have the most intelligent conversations (I remember discussing how each of us would go to the bathroom if locked in our rooms. Why? I don't know.) but they made us laugh. For a few years my parents and Joe and I would go to dinner every Thursday night and I knew that we would be there from 6pm to after 9 most nights. To use Joe's word, we are verbose.

Since we got married, Joe and I have had both families to our house for dinner. Joe makes an amazing turkey and each mom brings sides. It works out really well. My favorite Thanksgiving hands down is the year that my best friend Margaret and her then boyfriend (now hubby) Dan joined us for dinner. In so many ways Margaret is part of my family anyway, knowing my relatives almost as well as I do. She also has this amazing ability to get along with anyone and the room lights up when she is in it. I am sure that helped make it special but I think there is something else. It felt comfortable; it felt like home. It was what Thanksgiving is all about- joining and celebrating the mere fact that we are all here.
There are things you do because they feel right & they may make no sense & they may make no money & it may be the real reason we are here: to love each other & to eat each other's cooking & say it was good.

So as I type this Joe is finishing up the turkey (thanks Alton Brown!) and I feel compelled to write the cliche, but nevertheless sincere Thanksgiving post, "What I am thankful for this year:"

I am thankful.....
that I consider my mom, dad, husband and brother my best friends.

that I have close girl friends that have known me before I had boobs.
that I am developing an amazing group of supportive friends, some old, some new, who make me feel like I can do anything and are truly my champions.

that my friends feel comfortable kicking off their shoes, wearing jammies and helping themselves when in my home.

that I have the physical strength to work out, that I was able to complete a triathlon and was able to experience that with my mom.

that I have a job where I can grow and learn.

that my cat gets up in the middle of the night with me when I have to go to the bathroom. He always looks half asleep, but he still comes anyway.

That I Am Happy.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! May you have be surrounded by family and friends, laughter and love.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Rupdate- So That's Why People Use Those...

You ever have those moments when you realize that for as long as you can remember you have been ignoring some very good advice and regret all that time? That's how I feel this morning about heart rate monitors. I got one about 4 years ago and used it once. I remember feeling like I wanted to run faster than my heart rate would let me so I never used it again. When I realized that my puking was related to heart rate issues, I invested in a nice Garmin heart rate monitor (I chose Garmin solely because they sponsored Edward Norton in his NYC marathon fundraiser for the Massai people - marketing works!). I used it for the first time today and wow, what a difference. I was worried I was going to max out in the first two minutes. I didn't. I was able to stay in a comfortable zone and really never felt like I was super out of breath or was going to die. In fact, I might flirt with the term "enjoyable.". At least, it was the most enjoyable run so far.

The thing about running, especially when you are running without a buddy as I did this morning, is that at any point, you can just stop. No bells will ring, no warning signs will flash. You can just stop and go on about your day. I sure thought about it. Last week wasn't a good week for me. I felt like I was fighting a cold and on my run day was exhausted. I listened to my body though, didn't push it and walked instead of running. Luckily I never actually got sick, but it pushed my running training schedule back a week. So this morning I chose to jump ahead and do what was scheduled...a 15 minute solid run, followed by a 10 minute run. It honestly wasn't bad. I still am really slow and hoping that my heart will let me run faster, but if not so be it.

I really do think that our bodies are far smarter than we could imagine. I am trying really hard to listen to mine. I won't over exert myself when I am feeling like I am fighting something. I will let me heart guide my cardiovascular training. Already I am seeing the rewards.

I still don't know that I will ever love running like I do biking or swimming, but I am excited by the challenge of it. There is nothing that is making me do this. I can stop at anytime. Joe doesn't think I can do it. He hasn't said that but I can tell he doesn't think I will finish a half marathon. Honestly, I don't know if I can either and that scares me. The scarier part is that I don't think my ability is physical at all. I have to train my brain to push through the fear, the pain, the self doubt. Yet maybe that is why I am drawn to this right now in my life; to feel all that and know that I can power through it. I want to feel accomplished, that I did something that did not come easily to me.

I went to lunch with my friend Jenni who is running a marathon in two weeks. She was not a runner but joined Team In Training and loves that she is doing it but hates running. I have followed her journey and am amazed at her ability to conquer the demons that I am feeling right now. I told her that I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to do it and she assured me that I could. She reminded me of how I felt invincible after the tri and told me that I will feel that way again. I told her how I couldn't explain how I, a non runner, have this desire to run. But she understood how I cried watching someone finish a marathon on TV, how I felt as happy for Edward Norton finishing as I would for a dear friend. I am invested in it and while I can't tell you why and I know it doesn't make sense, I am drawn to it.

Running is basic, primal; One foot in front of the other, repeat. It's the repeating that is the hard part and the part that I need to embrace and accept. I am going to be a runner. I am going to push myself even though it hurts. I am going to run when I don't feel like it. There are lots of people facing lots of challenges out there. I am healthy. I have a happy life. I have all my limbs and can use them. I don't have to battle a wheel chair every moment of life. I will run simply because I can.

But I'll still probably hate it. :)

Friday, November 13, 2009

Reviews of All Things Media

This week I met Matisyahu and was fortunate enough to hear an acoustic performance of a few songs. Matisyahu burst onto the scene a few years ago with his poppy-reggae "King Without A Crown." Turns out he is a hascidic Jew that raps which makes him stand out just a little. His songs are beautiful, soulful and have a "love everyone" feel. He is tall, long armed and funny. We have so many bands and artists that come through the station, I am always happy when it is someone I know and really like. If you don't know who he is, check him out. His song "One Day" was just selected by NBC to be the official song of the Olympics, so I am sure you will be hearing him soon enough.

BOOKS (Fight Club Book Selections of late)
Siddartha by Hermen Hesse
We chose this as a token "classic" and had the additional support of Erin and Joe who read it in high school and loved it. The book is thin and easy to read but I did not like it at all. I thought Siddartha is a a pompous ass. I won't give it away, but it is about the spiritual journey of Siddarth but even as he grows he does not become a very likable character for me. I am curious how I would have liked this book had I read it in high school when I thought I was better than the world. Would I have related and liked him better? Perhaps it is the old woman in me that thinks "Shut up punk and be nice!" I like studying religions and this is an obvious allegory for Buddism, but I think I would have rather read a direct study of it.

G-Spot by Noire
This was an optional book for us to read. Joe brought it as a recommendation as a genre we have never read: Urban Erotica. Apparently this series is very popular with his students so I decided to read it. At first, it was hysterical. The dialects, phrasing and graphic depictions of sex and masturbation were at the same time startling and humorous. I joked that we were going to discuss nature versus nurture; since Juicy's mom was a "skank ass ho" does that mean Juicy is destined to become on as well? The book was a quick read and I won't spoil the ending for you, but I did really want to discuss it. There was so much accepted violence in the book it really surprised me. We talked about Twilight versus G-Spot. Twilight leaves young girls wishing they could be fall in love wiht a vampire which can't happen. G-Spot leaves young girls wishing they could fall in love with a violent drug dealer, a goal they could acheive. It just seems wrong to me to further a negative stereotype in girls so young. I have to say the highlight of this book was the language. I am now incorporating several different phrases into my everyday speach. Ya feel me?

The Blind Side
Sandra Bullock's accent in this is annoying. Really annoying. Besdides that, the movie is sweet and well acted. It is the true story of a boy from the wrong side of town, who has nohting, who because of hte kindness of strangers,

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Rupdate- Getting Stronger

For the record I still hate running.

This weekend I watched a documentary on marathons that Joe had recorded for me. I watched with awe and tears in my eyes as they crossed the finish line. Yep, I want to do that. I asked Joe if I was crazy and he pretty much said yes. Honestly, I don't think he thinks I can do it. And if we are really being truthful, I worry too. But something in me is making me do it. I don't want to climb Everest, I don't want to hike the Appalachian Trail. I want to run a half marathon, maybe a marathon. Maybe. I think I am drawn to the struggle. I want the accomplishment. I want to challenge myself in a way I never have before. For the most part things come easily to me so I have grown to expect things to come easy to me. When they didn't, I usually just quit out of frustration (hello piano lessons!) This isn't easy for me and I think finally I want to push through something and see if I can do it. Funny, I just got an email from my dear friend Peggy that said :
'To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did.'
I actually have a version of this on my fridge and my friend Shelia tweeted it last week, but today it strikes a chord and I am thinking of this as it relates to my running. I have no idea how the training and the actual finishing of such a lofty goal will change me but I am looking forward to finding out.

I ran this morning and it actually went well. I ran 5 minutes, walked a minute. The plan still is to be running non stop for 30 minutes by Christmas. So far, so good. I really like having a daily goal. It gives me something to shoot for and I know the next run will be easier if I suck it up and do that day's goal. I bought a new ipod and a heart rate monitor as well so I can start to track my heart's progress. Hopefully I can at least minimize my puking.

Alyse Kelly-Jones,the founder of the tri training group I joined, Tri It For Life, did her first Ironman triathlon this past weekend. An Ironman is a 2.4 mile ocean swim, 112 mile bike ride and then a marathon run, 26.2 miles. All in one day. She did it this past Saturday and I followed her progress on Twitter. I got out of bed and read that she was already in the ocean. As I was sitting down for lunch she was starting the bike ride. I was catching up on TV from the week when she started the marathon and as I went out that night at 9, she was finishing. She came in third with an overall time of 13 hours 43 minutes. That is almost 14 hours of constant activity. I am so in awe of her and her ability. I have no idea how old she is but I'd be safe saying over 35. She has a job, a life, and yet she trained for and completed an Ironman. I don't know if I have that in me, and yet part of me thinks....of course I do.

Baby steps for now. I have chosen a half marathon to do and it isn't until next November, 2010. I will use this half marathon to raise funds for St. Jude Children's Research Hospital, a place for which I have tremendous passion. The Ramblin Rose dates for 2010 were announced and the timing is perfect. I will have a triathlon to do in March, July and September which will have me well trained for the half marathon in November. Depending on how I do at the half marathon, I might entertain doing a half Ironman and maybe someday a marathon. In the meantime, I am going to get in the best shape of my life, maybe lose a little weight and hopefully enjoy not being good at something from the start and maybe even learning a little about myself.

Date 11/10/2009
Time: 35 minutes
2 minute warm up, 5 minutes running, 1 minute walking, repeat with 5 minute cool down then 10 minutes of extra walking.
Incline 1.0
Total Run: 25 minutes at 4.3
Total Walk: 5 minutes at 3.5
Total Mileage: 2.23 miles (treadmill only - this doesn't include the extra 10 minutes)
Puke: No
Breakfast: Scrambled eggs an hour before the run

Monday, November 9, 2009

Please Excuse The Mushiness For One Blog Entry

Joe and I were married eight years ago today. It seems like just yesterday and at the same time I can't remember a time when I wasn't with Joe.

I love being his wife. We dated for 7 years before we got married and yet still had a bit of a whirlwind romance. We met in August, moved in together in September and in October were in a car on our way to elope (we got matching tattoos instead.) That Thanksgiving I told my mom I wanted to marry him. I was 18. She told me that we both had a lot of growing up to do and we needed to make sure we grew up together. So over the next few years we lived together, apart, then next to each other. We broke up for a month, Joe got a job and moved to Columbia, South Carolina and then a year later moved to Charlotte. Just when we were talking about keeping separate places, his apartment burned down and Joe, his cat and a pair of shoes moved into my place. One day he surprised me and proposed in the most perfect for me, story book way. Two years later, on a deck overlooking Hart Bay in the US Virgin Islands, with a rainbow over our heads and 27 of our closest family and friends surrounding us, we got married.

It hasn't always been easy and we have gone through our share of grumpiness, arguments, bad days and therapy sessions. But we also have talked until the sun comes up, had tickle fights (I always lose) and have giggled until we snorted. I firmly believe that all of that makes us a stronger couple. I do know that we have been lucky and while I don't know what the future holds, I do know I will fight like hell for our marriage because it means the world to me.

So to Joe on our 8th Wedding Anniversary; I love you and am so very glad to be married to you. Thank you for always meeting me at the door and kissing me hello when I get home. Thank you for standing in the back of the shower. Thanks for always cooking and eating all the moldy food. Thank you for your honesty, your tenderness, your efforts in making our marriage stronger. Thank you for making me laugh when all I want to do is cry, for taking my headaches away, for hooking up TiVo even though it was a pain, for sharing your awesome rhyming ability and for always pumping the gas. Thank you for loving me even when I am unlovable. I think you are the smartest, most talented, wonderful, funny man with the cutest nose I have ever known and I am glad we have grown up together. Thank you for being my best friend. Curling up in bed with you and Pablo is the best part of any day for me too.

I love you.

Pictures above are: New York City to see The Gates, February 2005, Charleston for my 30th birthday and our wedding, November 9, 2001.

Friday, November 6, 2009

Movie Review: The Men Who Stare At Goats. Not for goat lovers...

A few years ago Fight Club read a book called "Them, Adventures with Extremists" by British journalist Jon Ronson. I enjoyed the book and found it funny, scary and so incredulous it had to be true. I have not read Ronson's other book but based on Them, I was very excited to see the movie version of "Men Who Stare at Goats." Starring George Clooney, Ewan McGregor, Jeff Bridges, Kevin Spacey and a host of others, I was sure the theater would be packed. Nope. Joe and I went with Charlie, Ben and Sarah. About 10 minutes in I could hear Sarah sighing and she looked at me and said "This isn't funny." At least I think that is what she said. I had a hard time hearing her because I was laughing so loudly.

The basic premise of the movie is that the US Government had a secret unit called the First Earth Army based on the New Age movement. The FEA trained a group of men to develop their psychic abilities, helping them "Be all they could be." The secret group of warrier monks would:
Seek your own personal path to God
Actively improve your physical condition.
Master mental self control for combat.
Understand others.
Reinforce team interdependence.
Actively serve people and planet.
Indulge in happiness and humor.

There were several levels of ability ranging from sparkly eyes and total observation to remote viewing, running through walls and the ability to stop the heart of an animal by staring at it, hence the movie and book title. The premise to the average person probably sounds a little far fetched, and that is the appeal of the movie. It sounds so ridiculous and yet I tend to think a lot of it probably happened!

George Clooney is fantastic in this role. He has a great sense of comedic timing and his facial expressions sell the role. Throughout the movie you know he is crazy and yet you grow to admire his belief system. There are so many layers of humor that I think I laughed pretty much non stop. The super spies are also referred to as Jedis and there are some great lines with Ewan McGregor saying things like "You really think I could be a Jedi?" Kevin Spacey plays a snobbish ass like no one else and overall the casting is perfect.

Sarah and Ben hated it and she said if she was on the aisle she would have left. Joe, Charlie and I liked it and Joe and I were laughing about scenes all the way home. Maybe the fact that we read "Them" helped Joe, Charlie and me like this movie so much. Ronson has a unique way of story telling and he has a dry, almost subtle sense of humor. I have talked to a few other co-workers who also saw it and most enjoyed it immensely. I am worried it is not going to do well, but I loved it and am interested in reading the book which apparently has a darker ending than the movie.

The Men Who Stare at Goats opens this weekend or you can check out the book by the same name by Jon Ronson. I'd recommend either for a story too good not to be true.

From the First Earth Battalion website (yes, this is real):
Between the crack of time and the fold of space there is an impulse to seek the fullness of life. Let there be the slipstream of knowing that penetrates in the flash of an eye to the core of the prize. Let that edge of knowing blaze a trail of pure magic for the spiritual warriors of the galaxy to rise again in the grist of the great surge forward and strike the banner of pure heart into the midst of the fury and bring her all — home again.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

The Road Not Taken and a Little Rupdate

Yesterday I had a glimpse of the road not taken. Sandy was out of town so I had Miller. He was up early and while content playing, when we went to get dressed, everything went down hill. He wanted to keep playing; he whined. Whining turned into crying and that continued for an impressive 20 minutes. He let me get him dressed and afterwards I was able to tickle him back into a seemingly good mood. When we got to daycare he wanted to be held and didn't want me to leave. He started screaming at the top of his lungs that he wanted me and the teacher, Ms. Joyce, had to forcibly remove him from my arms.

I don't know how working moms do it.

All I wanted was to grab him back, cuddle him until he stopped crying and then take him home and play. Instead I tried not to turn around and look at him again (I couldn't help it and did - poor little guy) and went to work. Around 10:30 Ms. Joyce called and said he still hadn't calmed down. He would cry for no reason and he had worked himself into a crying fit that resulted in throwing up phlegm from the cold he had been fighting. It was slow at work, I have 56 sick days available to me so I told her I would come pick him up even though I am sure he could have made it through the day.

So Miller and I played hookie. We went and voted, we went shopping, he napped, we played with bubbles, puzzles, he helped me clean. I was able to get some work done and some chores around the house so it was overall a good day. He was definitely off and would still cry for no reason, but I think he had a much better time being home with me. I know I did.

Joe and I have chosen not to have children. This was not an easy decision to make and we analyzed, over analyzed and then analyzed it again. It was all I could think about over the course of 2 years. The many reasons why we chose not to have children could easily be a novel on its own, but that isn't the reason for this post. Having a child is the natural progression of life. You grow up, go to school, graduate, get a job, get married, buy a house....have a child. It is the circle of life, or at least the straight line of most lives. It is expected. I followed that line but now am veering off the path onto uncommon ground.

I have several friends that are pregnant, trying to get pregnant desperately, or trying to decide if they want to have children. For some reason, I do not have that desire. I do love Miller and enjoy the time with him. I think Joe and I would be fantastic parents and that we would love our family and never look back. But since I have a choice, I choose a different path for our lives, one that involves traveling, enriching our lives in other ways and concentrating on our relationships.

I wish I DID have the desire for children: it would make things so much easier socially. It is very hard to be a 35 year old woman and not have any children. In any given gathering of women the conversation turns to children and while I have child birth stories and funny tales to share, most times I am excluded from the conversation. I have actually had a woman ask if I had children and when I said no, she said "oh" and turned and walked away from me. I am jealous of my friends that know that they want children so badly that there isn't an option. I am left to walk down my path and wonder if I made the right choice.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both

The Robert Frost poem seems so cliche, but I really can relate. I can see myself and my friends standing at the fork in the road and I choose left and they choose right. As we walk on, we are close in the beginning, but as time moves on the distance between the two paths becomes larger and larger until it is harder to see them and eventually I don't see them at all. For some people I made sure to tie a rope around their waists. Some of the ropes are strong as ever, some are elastic with periods of closeness and then further away. Some are getting frayed and some are so ruined I know the connection will break any moment if it hasn't already.

My mom once said the funniest thing to me when we were talking about having kids. (She has been annoyingly supportive saying it was a decision only Joe and I could make.) We were talking one day and she said it was so much easier before birth control. You didn't have to make the choice to have children, you just got knocked up. I am glad I do have the choice, but also see the ease in just having it happen and dealing with the situation.

Every choice has the option that wasn't chosen and I firmly believe that even the most resolute in their choice have moments where they wonder if they were wise when they stood at that fork. I am sure that going left is the correct choice for me and days like yesterday make me feel confident in that decision. I have fun playing. It made my heart hurt to leave him in pain. I love snuggling with him. And yet somehow I feel that not having kids is the right choice for me.

I remember one time I was with Erin and we were in line behind a baby. She was oohing and ahhing and said she was aching for a baby. I asked her if it literally hurt and she said yes, she felt empty inside. Cara has said she doesn't know why, can't really describe it, but she always knew she wanted to be a mom and have children. I don't have that feeling about kids and for a time worried because I didn't. Now I think of current goals in my life and know that I do have an indescribable want - just not for kids but for a half marathon. I mean really, I hate running. It's hard. Training for it is hard. But for some reason I can't explain, I know I want to do one. And I know as I cross the finish line all the pain, bad days and self doubt will be worth it.

I feel so incredibly lucky to have a friend like Sandy who has let me be such a major part of her son's life. I am so grateful to be able to spend time with him and create such a loving relationship with him. I love hearing him laugh and am amazed at how quickly he learns things. I am excited to watch him develop and wonder how I can help him become the best little man he can be. We've had great days, good days and some Calgon Take Me Away days. I feel like I have a pretty good idea of what being a mom is like and that has helped me become confident in my choice not to be one. I have an unbelievable amount of respect and am in awe of my mom-friends and especially my stay at home mom friends. The amount of mental exhaustion they must feel is overwhelming to me and I'm not living it! I do think not being a mom allows me to be an incredibly awesome aunt. I feel like I am making a difference in the life of a child, just not my own.

I remember a scene in Say Anything when Diane Court is giving the graduation speech. She says "Having taken a few classes at the University this year, I have glimpsed our future. And all I can say is.....go back." I kinda feel this way about having kids. Miller allows me to glimpse the motherhood future and I'm choosing to go back. Finally, I'm OK with that.

I had one of those mornings where I forgot a million things so had to keep running back upstairs. So I got to the gym 20 minutes late. I did a quick 15 minute run and then did my endurance swim of a mile, non stop. Both were good, although I was reminded how much I enjoy swimming, just swimming. I'm still slow, but I enjoy it. My running development is so far behind, I am so slow but I have to believe I am doing it correctly. My heart rate is still an issue and if it doesn't improve over the next month, I am going to see someone. Right now it stops me right when I feel like I am getting in a groove. I worked out solo again this morning. While I miss my mom, I did enjoy the solitude of the workout. I think that is one aspect of running I am going to enjoy, once I get going.

Joe and I stayed up way too late on Monday so I can feel my exhaustion setting in. It is going to be a challenge for me to continue to get up and work out. Finally though, the guilt I feel for not working out really outweighs the tiredness. It only took me four months, but I think I finally can do this on my own. I hope. :)

Date 11/4/2009 (Holy crap it's November!)
Time: 15 minutes
2 minute warm up, 5 minutes running, 2 minute walking, 5 minutes running
Incline 1.0
Total Run: 10 minutes at 4.5
Total Walk: 5 minutes at 3.0
Total Mileage: 1.25 miles
Puke: No
Breakfast: 1 Kashi Go Lean Protein Bar

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Rupdate: Runway 5K and Solo Workout...Yay Me!

This Saturday Joe and I ran the Runway 5K at the Charlotte airport. It is a really cool run. It is flat which is always nice and you literally run on the runway. There are planes taking off and landing around you and it makes the time seemingly fly by. They were hoping for 1,000 people but had 1,600 so there was a great feeling of excitement in the air. I hadn't really trained for the 5K, but was looking forward to the experience more than anything. Now Joe is a better runner than I am and always has been. When we were running together in 2003 he was always faster and stronger and that was when he weighed 150 pounds more than he does now. He literally did no training for the run and honestly, I was worried he would beat me and make all my work seem meaningless. It's not easy getting up every morning to work out and I need to have it matter that I do. So we started the run and I know he could have gone faster but he stayed with me. He jogged almost in place when I took my walk breaks and made me laugh several times and made the run fun.

My goal was to not puke and to listen to my body. It's frustrating though because what is a comfortable pace for my legs to run is not comfortable for my heart and I start to feel the pre-puke come on. I need to buy a heart rate monitor and hopefully the more I run, the more my heart will tolerate. I did let Joe convince me to sprint the last quarter of a mile. I told him he'd have to pay me $10 if I puked...he said no but I went ahead and puked anyway. I had crossed the finish line smiling but then went on a hunt for a nice private patch of ground. Blah. I really hate puking.

Joe ended up tearing his calf muscle so we had a pretty lazy rest of the weekend. He woke up on Sunday sore and tired. His knees and ankles were hurting and his hip was tight. Conversely, I felt completely fine. I certainly hate that he hurt himself so badly, especially because it was a lot of fun to run with him, but do know that my training has its purpose. My body may not run quickly, but it tolerated the exercise and didn't rebel against me on Sunday morning.

My mom is out of town so this morning I kinda had the option to work out. It is really nice to know that someone is counting on you to get up and out so without that I really thought about sleeping in. I went back and forth - would I feel better sleeping in and would that out weigh how bad I would feel for not working out? I finally decided on working out. I want to get better and the only way to do that is to work out. I have Miller this week so it is going to be a challenge to fit in a work out so I needed to go. I did and managed to run and swim. I am so glad I did it. I read a quote once about running and working out where someone said that you just need to get to a point where it is like brushing your is just something you do every day no matter what. I am trying to get there. It can't be an option.

Running was good; much easier on a treadmill than outside. I need to incorporate more outside runs into my training. I ran for 30 minutes, 4 minutes of running, 1 minute of walking. I could feel my legs were a little tired, but they hung in there. I think I need to get comfortable being uncomfortable. I tend to like feeling good and honestly, running doesn't. There is a point where my legs are tired, my lungs get tight and that doesn't even include the puking. But I know to get better I need to tolerate this discomfort and know that it will get easier, get better.

Swimming was also good. The pool was crowded so I had to share a lane but I went through the my drills and tacked on an extra few laps for good measure. I was certainly out of breath, but felt good for swimming almost a half mile. I also have to remember that in April when I started swimming I couldn't even do one lap. Really! So overall I am glad I worked out this morning and glad that it is becoming a non negotiable part of my life. Getting up early in the mornings suck and getting up early on Saturdays also sucks. I do it though, because I am always glad that I did. Soon it won't be a question of if I should or have time to work out. I simply will.

Running Summary:
Date 11/2/2009
Time: 30 minutes
4 minutes walking/1 minute running
Incline 1.0
Total Run: 24 minutes at 4.3
Total Walk: 6 minutes at 3.5
Total Mileage: 2.52 miles
Puke: No
Breakfast: 1 mini cliff bar, 30 minutes before the run