Excuse me while I kiss the sky.

A fireplace in the castle

We stayed in the Gentian (pronounced Gen-shun) cottage in Doolin.  It is a lovely 3 bedroom 3 bathroom house with an amazing view of the water.  On Wednesday the mist had lifted so we met the owner of the house, Ann O' Callahan, to get a private tour of the Ballinalacken Castle.  They are not sure exactly when the castle was built, but they suspect in the 15th century as a home to the O'Brien's who were one of the richest and most powerful families in County Clare.  Ann led us through a private, locked gate and then let us climb in the castle.  The stairway was still in really great shape, even though most of the roof was gone, and parts of the walls had holes in them.  It is astonishing to think of someone in the 1400s making a castle like this, that is still so sturdy today.  I only made it to the third story, my fear of heights preventing me from making it to the partial 4th floor.  But that was enough for me for sure! 

Then Ann took us to her farm and let us feed a week old baby cow named Jake.  Momma cow had triplets, a very rare thing, and Ann was worried about the amount of milk produced for the babies so is supplementing Jake with milk, served in a wine bottle! She let us take a turn feeding him which was a fun, simple thing.  Cows are awesome. I cannot say enough nice things about Ann and her home.  If you should ever find yourself needing a place to stay in Doolin, Ireland, please look her up. 

The Cliffs of Moher

Since it was still cloudy, but not foggy, we decided to try the cliffs again.  Turns out that the visitor center that we paid to go into is a recently new development and the local townspeople are a wee bit upset that people feel like they need to pay to see the cliffs.  In fact, you don't have to pay to see them, the money you pay is to park at the visitor's center.  So on Ann's advice, we parked on the side of the road and walked up to the cliffs and wow am I glad I did.  When you can see them, they are amazing.  Pictures do not do justice to the size and scope of the landscape.   There are barriers everywhere, along with posters urging people to call the Samaritans if they are thinking about suicide (there are 3 suicides a day in Ireland, more than car fatalities.  The Cliffs are the top "black spot").   We walked to the end of the barriers, climbed past the private property signs and were treated to some spectacular views as we walked down a narrow pathway nearly 3 miles along the top of the cliffs.  I got pretty close to the edge, close for me, and was very happy that neither Beth nor Dearsley fell off the side!  This may be a super touristy location, but if you are in that area, check it out.  It is worth seeing for sure and if can take the heights, walk past the barrier.  There are some crazy areas where the wind tops 80mph, but other than that the walk is pretty easy and you will be glad to see this natural wonder from a different angle.

Blue Skies over the Cliffs of Moher

On our way back we were surprised and delighted to see actual blue sky peeking through the clouds.  You would have thought we won a million dollars based on our reactions, but after so many days of rain and grey, the blue sky was gorgeous.  It was the first of many utterly happy moments for me on the trip.  Here I was standing on a cliff that is over 720 feet tall, with some great new friends, looking at something that is not only old, but a testament to the power and wonder of the earth and it was amazingly serene, peaceful and made my heart happy.  Five months ago I never would have imagined myself here, but I am so glad it happened.

After the cliffs, we headed back to the house to shower and get ready for our last night in Doolin.  Tony the cabbie picked us back up and we headed to McDermott's for dinner.  This is a truly local place, where families gather for good pub grub and good music.  The night was pretty low key, so we ate and headed over to McGann's to see what was happening there.  I am not sure if it was a collective hangover from the night before or just a regular low key night, but the crowd was smaller, the music more intimate and as a result we found ourselves in a deep political conversation with some Irishmen.

The more I travel, the more I become aware of how ignorant and arrogant Americans are.  Here I was in a small town in Ireland and people knew not only the major political leaders, but also details on our system and major laws and issues as well as our history including presidents.  I was shocked but mostly embarrassed by my lack of the same information about a country I was visiting for a week.  I love traveling because it teaches me in the best way I know to learn, but it also keeps me grounded in all that I don't know, and what knowledge I need to seek out.  Traveling also reminds me of how similar humans are; wanting to be loved and needed and respected.  Meeting strangers, discussing common bonds and learning so much is the essence of why I love to travel and why it will remain a priority in my life.  It makes me appreciate what I have and the opportunities that I take so for granted as well.

So after 4 days in Doolin, we are packing up and heading up north to Portrush in Northern Ireland to meet up with Candace and Carol. I am excited to see another part of this gorgeous country, but sad to say goodbye to this wonderful town and its lovely people who have been so gracious to us while we have stayed.  Now that I see what a blue sky looks like, this is a truly gorgeous place that is worth seeing sometime in your life.

50 mph winds to 3 sheets in the wind...

You don't come to Ireland for the weather that is for sure. We started Tuesday later than normal and that was perfectly fine with me.  There is such a rush to do and see and not miss a thing that it is easy to ignore the fact that you are just plain tired.  It isn't jet lag, just exhaustion.  The weather was horrible anyway, with a thick fog settling over the entire area.  We literally could not see 25 feet in front of us.  Figuring it wasn't ever going to be any better, we set off for the Cliffs of Moher. 

When I first starting researching Ireland, I was drawn to the cliffs and knew that I wanted to see them.  In fact the cliffs are why we are staying in Doolin,  5 miles away.  So we drove up, paid roughly $10 a person to park and walked into the visitor's center.  It was cold, rainy, windy and we could hardly see a thing.  We did spend some time in the gift shop and I was glad to see an ATM, e only one around for 25 miles.  After watching the documentary films, shopping and warming up a bit, we ventured out onto the cliffs.  Wondering what they looked like?  Take a white sheet of paper.  Hold it up to your face.  That is what it looked like.  We literally could not see a thing.  We knew they were there since the mist would randomly clear for 5 seconds, long enough to see that the cliffs were real, but not long enough to get the lens cap off the camera.  We stayed for a bit, then left pretty disappointed.  

You can't plan for the weather and the best bet is to make the best of it, no matter what.  Luckily we did just that.  We drove around, then went home, took a nap to rally for a pub night.  Since driving on the left takes full concentration, neither me nor Dearsley felt comfortable driving having anything to drink.  So we decided for Tuesday to get a cab so we could both drink.   Tony the cabbie picked us up and recommended we go to Doolin instead of Lisdornvarna since it was a bit more exciting.  He dropped us off at McGann's pub since a "fantastic piper was there".  We walked in and the place was packed.  I was disappointed to find that most of them were tourists, but I couldn't deny the atmosphere was electric.  When the famed piper came in (Michael from Foolin in Doolin, he plays the uilleann pipes) the crowd reacted like he was a rock star.  It was amazing! We drank, flirted with bartenders, talked to Americans, Dutch, Scandinavians, Malaysians and of course Irish.  It was fun. One thing that is different in the pubs here is that they do not waste space.  If two people are sitting at a table for 4, they might have another couple seated with them that they do not know.  Not only does this utilize the very tiny space, it is a great way to get to know each other.  We came home, Dearsley made Irish soda bread with honey, we drunk skyped people (drunk dialing is one area that really did not need technological advances) and had a great night. I am pretty in love with this little town of ours.  Not only is it gorgeous, but the people are fantastic.  I feel like I have stumbled upon a fairy tale and now I am not sure I ever want to leave!

50 Shades of Grey, and I mean that literally

It was grey and rainy today and I mean ALL day. We woke up to a blustery morning but since we have limited time here, couching it was not an option so we packed up our bags and headed out. First stop was Lisdoonvarna, home of the world famous "matchmaking festival". The town is quite braggadocious about the claim that most true love matches are made here than in heaven, but in talking with a local we found that most of the village people think this is quite sad, a bunch of "older women from America" come over to meet a farmer to take care of them. The farmers think is is fun but the Americans take it too seriously. We finally asked how old and were told in the 60s. I got the feeling they are glad to have the tourism claim but that is about it. The town is quite small, so we were surprised when we came out of a store to see a traffic jam. Turns out there was a funeral and almost the entire town came out to pay their respects. At one point they were totally spilled out on the street. I knew it was rude to so didn't, but I really wanted to take picture of the event, it was so moving and so real. The rest of the day was spent driving around and stopping whenever we saw something we liked or wanted a picture. I took 217 pics and I am sure Beth took just as many. We were pretty silly, but we really made the best of the rain and horrible conditions. We tried to take a self portrait at any landmark and some were great and others not. But my favorite one, and perhaps favorite moment of the day was at the Poulnabrone Dolmen, a stone burial portal from 3,200 bc. The wind had really picked up, the rain was blowing and it was quite chilly. We were all up there with our raincoats on, hoods up. It was a great picture, but more than that, a fantastic memory. I've written before about how important good travel companions are and not knowing Dearsley that well and not ever traveling with Beth, I wasn't sure how it would go, but we all are getting along well and have very similar travel styles; no plans and make the best of it. I was so thankful that they would get out of the car in the wind and rain to see basically a big, old rock. We were all soaked afterwards but it was very fun. Ireland, even in the grey and rain, is beautiful. It changes between green farmland, sweeping hillsides and rocky barren landscapes. Stone is everywhere: houses are made from it, walls divide property and provide a barrier to the roads. The people here have a fantastic sense of color. Houses may be white but the window sills and doors are vibrant green or yellow or red. The abundance of rain is never more evident than with the flowers that are everywhere. Every store has hanging baskets of purples and reds and yellows. Most houses have window boxes making the town streets absolutely picturesque. We are staying in a small village that is not touristy at all, so I am very aware of being an American. The people have been lovely so far though, very helpful and nice. Nice breeds nice. It looks like rain and wind is the forecast for our entire trip, but if today is any indication, we will make the most of it!

Irish eyes are smilin'

I have been up and moving for 24 hours, but that is ok since I am in Ireland!  Honestly Ireland was never on my bucket list of places to go. Sure it was pretty but since I mostly stuck with tropical destinations, it was never a top 5 place to go.  But this year my friend Beth was chosen to be one of a very few people that get to film the Olympics for NBC. We talked and a European vacation was born. We chose Ireland because none of us had ever been and it was close to London where Beth would have to report to work. After deciding we really wanted to see the clifs of Moher and the giant's causeway, we set on finding a bed and breakfast or house to rent.  Then with 157 days to go, we waited. It has been so far away for so long that it is still strange that I am in Ireland.  The trip was ok.  The flight to London was in eventful and I actually slept.  Then we rushed through customs, followed the signs to departures, rushed mot the gate to be. Told we could not board the plane because we had not checked in.  After much running, sweating, and fantastic help by one particular security guard, we found out that by going through security with our boarding pass without first checking in voided our bairdin pass and we had to start all over.  So $200 later, we found ourselves waiting for the 2pm flight.  So that was not ideal, but we all managed through it, knowing that the number two rule in travel is to be flexible.  (number one is pack light).  We rented a car and commenced our cross country road trip.  To be honest, it only took us 3 hours to drive across country, but still, I have done it.  They drive on the left side of the road here and I was the first of the crew to start.  Luckily it was a straight stretch, but honestly, driving on the opposite side came back to me pretty quickly.  Some navigation is still tricky, some turns, pulling out of parking lots, take some thinking, but other than that, it is really easy now.l Our house is wonderful. The owner lives right next door and she is lovely.  She recommended a cute Irish pub for dinner so we drive the 3 miles down the road to get something to eat.  None of us have showered in 24 hours but we were hungry!  We walked in to a bar area where everyone was singing along to an Irish fellow singing an very familiar tune.  I loved it! Having never really given thought to what Ireland would be like, this pub exceeded my expectations.  I had fish and chips, a soda since I was driving and then it became very apparent that all of needed a good night sleep, So day one is done.  I am glad I am here.  The landscape is gorgeous, with more shades of green that you can imagine.  There are ruins and stonewalls everywhere.  It is pretty magical.  I get it now.    So off to bed.   

I'm Planning on Not Planning

I am a HUGE planner.  I love planning trips, researching, coming up with options and then making a decision.  Then I worry that I made the right decision and do some more research on the place I chose to make myself feel better about the choice.  That is why what happened today is so amazing and fun.

My travel buddy Shelia was given two free airfare vouchers but they had to be redeemed today.  We did a quick look at the map, found that the airline flew to Jamaica and 15 minutes later booked a trip to Montego Bay!

I was so nervous hitting the confirm button. I don't do this.  I think, I research, I plan.  And yet here I was, just doing. It was scary but also a bit awesome.  We needed to find a hotel but instead of doing a ton of research like always, I narrowed it down to all the 4 star all inclusive resorts, wrote them on slips of paper and put them in the "Sombrero of Fun" and let a co worker pull one out.  I figured the universe picked Jamaica, we will let it pick the hotel too!

I have a lot of trips planned this year, but in a way I am most excited to see how this one turns out.  Like Shelia said, it will be an adventure, and really, isn't that what traveling is all about?  We will make the best of it and no matter what, I know we will have a great time, laugh and talk and enjoy ourselves. That, I can plan on.

Thank you for being a friend....

From the theme song to Golden Girls to Lean on Me to You've Got a Friend, songs about friendships are just as popular as love songs.  Having friends and a strong support system has become a cliche', an overused statement and to me had really no meaning.  Sure friends were important.  Friends make life fun.

Then a few weeks ago my life took an unexpected turn.  I am not ready to publicly talk about it in this blog, but it has been devastating. I think of myself as a strong, independent person and yet with one action, I was so weak I could not function.

I called my friends.  I wanted them to know what was going on so they were up to speed.  I thought they would say some standard pleasantries and then go about their lives while I sat in a pool of my own tears.  But they didn't.

Every single friend I told rallied around me.  From coming by with food, beer, sleep aids, chocolate, to calls, texts, to manual labor, I had an outpouring of love that I never expected. In one of the worst times of my life, I felt lucky and loved.

I am so used to being the giver that it feels odd to take from these people. I am trying to not feel guilty for asking so much right now.  I would for sure turn around and do the same for them, but somehow me needing it feels weak.

I just read a letter from a friend that filled me with this warm sense of peace and hope. It has been a long time since I felt that so strongly and it reminded me of how wonderful that sensation is.

I could not have gotten through the last 3 weeks without a host of very close friends. For those of you that are reading this, you know who you are.  Thank you doesn't seem strong enough.  You have saved my life. You have supported me when I could not stand on my own. Your love and help has made me a stronger person. I am forever grateful that at the moment that I could never have imagined happening that you rushed by my side and helped me through.

I am lucky.  I am loved.  I hope that I can be half the friend to you that you have been to me. Thank you.

I Wish I Had A Time Machine.....A Dear Me-from-7-years-ago Letter

Something happened last night that has never happened to me before. We had our kick off event for Tri It For Life session 1 athletes and mentors and it went well.  Afterwards a small group of us went across the street for dinner.  I always have such a fantastic time with fellow TIFLers Wendy and Beth.  I end up laughing til I cry and just walk away smiling.  So last night there were just five of us gals, ranging in age from 30-50.  Topics ranged from crazy family members to clothing to dating...regular girl talk really.  Then all of a sudden Beth noticed that out of the five of us, only  one woman had children.  We all stopped and looked around - yep only Julie had kids.  We talked about how rare that is and how usually we without the children are in the minority.  How strange to have a group of women of all ages and only have one of us with kids.  How refreshing.

I wish I could go back in time and tell this story to the me from when I was 28-32ish.  I had such a hard time being the ONLY PERSON WHO DIDN'T HAVE KIDS.* It made my decision not to have them seem odd and unusual.  I felt unconnected to everyone I knew including people with whom I had once shared every thought. I hated myself for not wanting kids, wondered if I was making the right decision and worried I'd regret it.  I asked everyone how they KNEW they wanted kids, looking for some sign of their answer in myself. I joined group after group looking to connect with someone where the first line of conversation wasn't "How old are your kids?"  I stood shocked after a woman, upon learning I didn't have any kids, simply turned and walked away from me, as if I would have nothing else to contribute. 

I am lucky that due to Miller, I can talk kids with the best of them. I have childbirth stories, tales of infant cuddles and cries, daycare dramas and silly sayings as the once little baby turns into a spunky boy.  I can hang with the moms as a well informed tourist in their town.  But I'm not a resident.  Last night, I was.

So to the me that wondered if I was wrong, sick, alone or if I should have kids "just to fit in", or any other women who might have found this blog as they, like me, went online to find childfree support, stay the course.  Know that there are women out there who made the same choice you did and you will find each other. Know YOU ARE NOT WRONG OR SICK for not wanting kids, just as they are not wrong or crazy for wanting them.  Focus on you - look at what makes you happy and seek that happiness out.  When you find that passion, the childfree will be there too.  Find older women, who either never had or have grown children, for they know that you have value outside of sharing kid tips.  Those women exist and can help you find your way.  Choosing a non traditional path is never easy and unfortunately even today, a woman choosing to not have kids is still an outlier.  Don't let societal pressures get you down...you are stronger than that.  You might not know it or feel it, but you have value and worth and can make a difference in the world and have a fulfilling life without having a child.

Oh yeah, and that lady that simply walked away when she found out you didn't have kids?  Well, she's just a bitch.

*I wasn't the only person who didn't have kids, but it sure felt that way!