That was worth it.

This year I have been tasked with starting up a Rock Hill branch of Tri It For Life, the triathlon mentoring group I am in. We started out small...30 athletes and a solid group of 10 mentors who are really pitching in and helping. It's been a lot of work and a lot of driving to Rock Hill. We have biking on Tuesdays, running on Wednesdays and swimming on Saturdays. The pool is 55 miles round trip from my house. At least the gas is cheap.

So this started April 16 and for the past 9 weeks these ladies have been working their little booties off. We have women from the age of 11 to 84. Each one has shown up, session after session, and the improvement has been remarkable.

This past Saturday was what we call the Mock Tri. We set up everything and have the athletes go through the entire race, to work out kinks and to give them the confidence that they can indeed do this triathlon.

Setting up this event was pretty easy for me and tapped into my event planner past. Easy doesn't always translate into fast and the whole thing was pretty time consuming. In fact, the entire Rock Hill start up has been pretty time consuming. It has messed up my sleep schedule, zapped my energy, and I can't tell you the last time I cleaned my house. Nothing will kill your passion for an organization more than being involved. I was really looking forward to the day being over.

The women started showing up early, which is odd in event world. Everyone was ready and super nervous. I said some pre event remarks, our Tri It president said some remarks and we started lining up in the pool area. As we did I saw one women standing in line crying. She was nervous. I went up and hugged her and asked her what was wrong. She said she just didn't think she could do this. I knew she could and told her so. Quickly it was her turn in the water and of course she got through it. I watched as all the women made it through the swim and then headed out to the bike course. This was the scariest part for me because I wasn't with them. The road is busy and I felt like I was letting my kids go off by themselves for the first time. I started feeling better as they came back from their ride. Of course everyone was fine. We even had a flat tire and I am proud to say the girl changed her own tire! After the bike is a 2 mile run. At this point it was hot and nearing 11am. As some of the stronger athletes came in we would cheer and then those women would stand and cheer on everyone else.

Everyone finished with huge smiles on their faces but there are a couple that really made me tear up.

Sandra - Sandra and her daughter Aimee train together with Yulonda, a neighbor. Sandra has come to every single training opportunity I have provided her with and her ability has multiplied. She has pushed herself and it is apparent to everyone (but her) that she is so strong now. She still doubted that she could do it. As she crossed the finish line, Yulonda was right there and the two just embraced and hugged for a long time. I started crying. It really is the greatest feeling to have someone else believe in you, ESPECIALLY when you don't believe in yourself. I am forever grateful for Cindy for believing in me when I couldn't see the strength in myself.

Beverly (pictured above) - Beverly is the grandmother in the three generation team; Kenzie the granddaughter, Wendy the daughter. I know I am not supposed to pick favorites, but Bev is mine. I worked individually with Beverly on her very first training session and taught her how to use the gears on her bike. Her husband died last year and like many people, Bev and Wendy dealt with the stress by eating. After gaining 30 pounds, they knew they needed to do something. They joined Tri It For Life and I am honored that I played a part in their journey from mourning to remembering. Watching them grow, both physically and emotionally, has been a true blessing.

I can't explain why, but I am fundamentally a different person after crossing that finish line in 2009. It changed the way I think about myself and what I think I can do. I have been bitching and complaining about the time this organization takes and the various little issues I have. But in the end, I played a tiny part in a fantastic group of women changing their lives forever. I'm pretty proud of that; of them. Today makes it all worth it.

Couch Potato - Summer TV

I watch A LOT of TV, but I don't feel that badly since I am also pretty active. I've heard a lot of people say there isn't anything good on during the summer and I wholeheartedly disagree. The best thing about summer TV? It is on networks that replay episodes often so two shows on at the same time isn't a conflict. We just catch them whenever they are on again. So here are my picks for Summer TV:

SUMMER:
Monday
8pm - Eureka- This Sci Fi gem is cute. It's not great but it is sweet and the characters are genuine. I like Colin Ferguson and Niall Matter. They are enough to keep me tuned in.
9pm - Warehouse 13 Sci Fi and again, this is not the finest of all TV but it is entertaining
10pm - Alphas- Sci Fi -A better representation of what Sci Fi (or rather SyFy) can produce. This is a show about everyday super heroes. Premiere was promising so I will keep watching.
10PM - Weeds - Showtime - They have fast forwarded 3 years and Nancy is out of prison, but hasn't changed. I feel like I need to be loyal to this show, though the only real thing keeping me is the addition of Pablo Schreiber, who is a good girl's dirty-hot bad boy.

Tuesday
8pm- Pretty Little Liars -ABC Family - Escapism in its purest form.
9pm - White Collar - USA - This show is fun, sweet with a bit of procedural form to it. Check it out...you'll love it even if you don't know all the nuances between the characters. If you can, watch from day 1. The relationships make the show.
10pm - Covert Affaris - USA - If you are on Twitter, follow Christopher Gorham (@chris_Gorham). He plays Auggie and not only is a cutie, is extremely interactive with his twitterai. It makes me like him even more and root for the show's success.

Wednesday
8pm - So You Think You Can Dance - Fox - I've been a fan since the very first season, however I only watch this on TiVo so I can fast forward through a lot of it. I watch the dances, listen to Nigel's thoughts and the guest judge if I like him or her. Other than that...fast forward.
9pm - Royal Pains - USA - Lower your expectations and then check out this show. It's cute, the relationship between the brothers is sweet and it is a good way to spend an hour, but you won't miss it if you should happen to fall asleep during it.
9pm - Franklin and Bash - TNT- Like any other self respecting child of the 80s, I was excited to see Mark Paul Gosselier back on tv. Zach Morris is decidedly grown up. He was on Weeds for one episode and I didn't even recognize him. He is teamed up with Breckin Meyer as lawyers who don't always play by the book. Malcom McDowell plays a supporting role and overall the show is fun, not too serious and a good way to spend some couch time. I'm even liking Reed Diamond!
10pm- Necessary Roughness - USA - I loved Shelia on Rescue Me so we checked this show out. Make no mistake, it is a chick show. It's tolerable, but Joe has already vetoed it and unless I end up with a ton of alone time at home, I won't make a lot of effort to watch it.

Thursday
9pm - Burn Notice - USA - Possibly the best show on right now. Absolutely great. Check it out from season 1 if you can. It's worth the time.
10pm - Suits- USA - I will watch new USA shows based on Burn Notice alone, but it is always nice when they deliver. Is this the best show on TV? No, but I love a show that is strong on the relationships between people and I love that the main character, a wiz kid turned lawyer, isn't always right and doesn't always do the right thing. Plus Zoe from Firefly is in it. So watch...for her. You know Wash is dead....so she needs the work. (Sorry for the insider Serenity joke.)

Friday
8pm - Flashpoint - CBS - This Canadian export is easy to watch whenever it is on. It's entertaining but not great. Enrico Colantoni (Keith Mars to you in the know) is the best part of the show and for him, I will continue to support this.

Sunday
10pm - The Glades - A&E- This ties Burn Notice for best show of the season. It's a crime procedural with a little more. The lead character is a charming asshole that I have grown to love.
10pm - Falling Skies - TNT -I loved Noah Wylie on ER. Then came The Librarian series which shattered any respect I had for him and made me never, ever, want to hear his voice again. But TiVo recorded Falling Skies for us and we were bored so we figured we'd give it a shot. And honestly, I am intrigued. I am still not a huge fan of his, but he is wearing on me. The show is a teeny bit original in some respects and maybe I'm just in a dystopian mood of late, but I actually look forward to watching this. It has already been renewed, so maybe I'm not the only one hoping Noah gets back to his Carter days.

Having Fun Again

I am 9 days away from turning 37 and yet lately I have felt more like a kid than I have in a long time. I've been having fun.

I first noticed it a couple of weeks ago on a short 10 mile bike ride with Joe. He is usually such a stronger biker than me but he was having an off day so we were more evenly matched. As we were racing across an intersection I laughed. I have no idea why. The next Sunday we went for an early mroning ride before the traffic came. At one point we were going down Rea Road, usually avoided becuase of cars, and I realized I was close to reaching 35mph. I decided I wanted to hit it so really pushed. I only got to 31...but I felt exilerated. Last Sunday we did the same Rea Road Route and this time I knew to start my push to 35 sooner. I still didn't hit it, only reached 33.9, but again I found myself smiling like a big dork. I was having fun. Yesterday I was feeling good during my run and found myself running as fast as I possibly could for the last little bit. It was downhill and I stopped thinking about my breathing pattern or time and just RAN.

It's so easy to get caught up in the routine of life. I get up, go to work, come home, have dinner, watch TV, go to bed and do it all over again. The weeks run into each other with nothing more than the same old same old. I'm not complaining...there is something comforting about being content in the sameness of life, but it is good to make sure that life isn't ONLY that. I've been battling injuries and beating myself up because I haven't been able to reach goals I'd sent for myself. The past few weeks have been really good for me and have reminded me the real reason I ride or run or get out with friends: it's fun.

Changes in Attitude....

I haven't blogged much mostly becuase all I have felt like doing is whining. My foot hurts. My back hurts. My knee hurts. I got an MRI and have to pay $750 for it. Once able to run 13 miles, I now suffer through 6. I followed the greatest bike ride I can remember with the realization that my back was injured and I couldn't get off my bike. It's been one of those months.

Yesterday Cindy, my running partner needed me to fill in as the swimmer on her triathlon relay team. I enjoy swimming though am not great so said yes. Race day came along with 33 degree temperatures and I immediately regretted it. I didn't want to go, didn't want to swim, REALLY wanted to stay at home in bed. I felt ill prepared, nervous about the race and if I could do it. Of course it went well.

It was really cold. For those of you who have never seen a triathlon, you swim and then run to the transition area. For me that meant running outside (remember the 33 degrees?) in a wet bathing suit to watch Cindy get on her bike and go. That is the coldest I can remember being with major body parts a shade of blue that was not normal or healthy looking. Cindy had a great ride and Dawn, the runner had a fantastic run. We were happy we did it, cold and we left as soon as were finished, not even sticking around for the awards.

THAT, ended up being a mistake. WE CAME IN SECOND PLACE! I was floored! AND we were less than :40 seconds from first! It was such a great feeling I wanted to run aroudn and tell everyone!

So here's the thing...I know that with training I can do anything. I also know that I am ALWAYS glad after the workout/race/run. I just need to suck it up, continue to crawl out of the bed just as some people are crawling in, and show my body the proper respect by growing stronger and faster. Triathlon season has begun and I have one more relay and then the International Nations Tri in DC. So from now on, no more skipping workouts. I have checked myself before I wrecked myself and I am glad.

Decisions, Decisions

In December, fresh off my half marathon high, I registered for the Southpark Racefest half marathon. The course is hilly, far more challenging than the route I ran in November. There is a 3 hour time limit too...so not only is it harder, but I'd have to run faster. But it was December. I had 4 months to train so I wasn't worried.

Commence pain; knee, hip, back, overall. I took a month long hiatus from running and pretty much all activity. It became the norm to cancel my early morning workouts. I ran 2 miles once in about 3 weeks. The half marathon loomed.

Yesterday Cindy, Doreen and I ran the back 7 miles of the course. My back hurt: I wore my TENS unit on the way there and took a muscle relaxor before I started the run. It was not a good day and I lagged behind them. I cursed myself for getting out of the habit, eating poorly, gaining more weight. Seeing them sprint up a hill made me want to cry. Two miles later I literally did.

I am angry at myself for getting to a point where I could comfortably run 13.1 miles and letting it go. I am disappointed that I don't push myself harder. I am thinking of not doing the half and only doing the 10K instead. This makes me feel guilty and then upset that I feel that way. I told Cindy I was thinking of dropping down and immediately felt shame and a bit of competitive peer pressure. But here is the thing..I am not a professional athlete. I am doing this becuase I have fun doing it. I don't want this race to ruin that for me. I don't want to hate it. I don't want to cry during the race. I don't want to be the very last person to finish, so late that event organizers have packed up and are ready to go home. But will I feel good about only doing a 10K?

I want to be proud of myself again. I have a decision to make.

Electric Stair Lifts Only Cost $2,000

Cindy, my running and accountability partner, told me on Monday that she envied me for being active so soon in life. (She is in her early 50s, I am in my late 30s.) I laughed outright at her. But she insisted that it will improve my agility, flexibility and overall health as I age. I came in from our run (cut short due to stomach issues) and pulled out the ice pack for my knee. As I was stretching I noticed that the cyst on my Achilles tendon has gotten much bigger. This odd, not-toes-but-not-pad part of my foot feels like it is bruised, almost like I have a knuckle that needs to be cracked. How exactly will this make me in better shape when I am older?

I am very, very lucky that I got through my half marathon training with no significant injuries. My heel bothered me a bit, but it would come and go, so I didn't really worry that much about it. I iced regularly. Then in December during a run my knee started hurting, and didn't stop. I was sidelined for a month. I slowly started back running, but the knee has remained an issue. Turns out my heel pain was actually a cyst on my Achilles tendon that is so large now it sticks out over my shoe. I went to my knee doc on Tuesday; he ordered the dreaded MRI. He is worried I have cartilage damage but we are hoping for the "good" diagnosis of arthritis. He essentially said it is my decision: keep running or be able to climb stairs without pain.

It's no secret running is horrible on your body. During a run the foot strikes the ground 70-100 times per minute and the force exerted is up to three and a half times body weight. Think a 700 pound person could walk around without significant pain? Me neither, and yet that is what I am expecting from my body. Rationally, I know this, and yet I still secretly hoped I could train and run a marathon pain free.

I still don't think I like running, but to have my doc tell me that I should stop is a different matter. I don't want to STOP running...I just don't want it to hurt. I can't explain WHY I want to complete an Ironman, but the thought of not being able to even try is absolutely crushing to my spirit. I know I am jumping ahead; I haven't even gotten the MRI, much less the results. But this is not fun.

Sure there are benefits of running. I don't have to worry about bone density because it's a weight bearing exercise so is good for my bones. Cardiovascularly, you can't beat running. My doc told me "I could take a nap between your heart beats" (that's a good thing). I am a big fan of stretching, and flexibility makes life easier. Running is also fantastic for stress relief and generally I attribute running for keeping me sane. But right now I don't feel that way. I am worried, frustrated and in pain. So Cindy may be right, but I think I might start saving money for the electric stair climbers just in case she's not.

February Music

Title - Artist

Not in Love by Crystal Castles featuring Robert Smith*

Jump Into Fog by The Wombats

Life Goes On by Noah and the Whale

Don't Shut Em Down by Flogging Molly

Helena Beat by Foster the People

The Roller by Beady Eyes

Under the Cover of Darkness by The Strokes*

Get Some by Lykke Li*

Second Chance by Peter Bjorn & John*

*Represent favorites for the month.